Yesterday I received an invitation to housesit in Greece for 2 and a half weeks mid June, and that message hit major resistance. In view of the quest Graham and I are on I decided to check out what was really going on within myself.
Going through the available housesits of the day, I always have Google Calendar open to see whether the offered period slots in to the fixed appointments we have. This one lands right in the middle of my MoonScout appointment, an assignment for a city in the south of the Netherlands. They provide a platform between the full moons of May 28th and June 26th to share my message with the world.
I am staging a theatre play, and obviously need to spend some time in that location to prepare for this. How long? I guess about 2 weeks. Graham has been pointing out to me that I have been avoiding to commit to anything in the months April-May-June.
On consulting the organizer, I found that I can present my message for femaleXperience on as many occasions as I choose, ranging from 1 to 30. Other than that, I am free to stay or go. They are just looking to put something on in the series every month. Somehow, even with the show planned on May 31st , and a discussion on June 21st, , I still felt uncomfortable.
The invitation mentioned earlier seemed to bring an obvious truth to the surface: it crosses over the 21st of June, so when I need to be there – hence I can’t commit to this housesit. But somehow, that sounds too easy – I need to dig deeper: what is really going on?
Am I feeling a pang of guilt for not being present? The project started end October 2009; I was in Fiji at the time. The other MoonScouts (13 of us over the year) – go out to dinner together and are creating a social hub. Do I care? Not really. I know I can catch up with that during the time of my slot. Could this have something to do with it still?
Waking up it was all crystal clear in my mind: I have a belief that says: in taking on an assignment, I have to be fully part of that, fully meaning: in the process I have to give up my way of life, what I love, what I stand for to please others. What a nonsense!
The funny thing is that usually – and especially in this case – the “other” doesn’t expect that at all. Quite the opposite: they love the idea that I am flying in to put on a show and a discussion on femininity. And I have to add: and fly out again. It is who I am as an Earth Pilgrim.
In changing that belief I feel I have really embraced the concept of independent working. Independent working means that I can be anywhere, while the job, project or assignment has a location. Most travelers come from the opposite direction: they have a job, boss, home-office that sends them off to some location and they work there. Being independent means I can go anywhere, as long as I have access to the internet and a domestic or international airport to fly in and out of a location for the duration of the time I need to spend in that specific location. Like Graham – when he had to quote for lighting a theatre in the West End in London – he needed to see that theatre, and discuss with the client what his vision was, as well as doing some trials. The design itself he worked out after he got back from London, on the porch of the queenslander in Brisbane.
With this new belief firmly installed, I committed to the housesit in Greece. Yippie!
Graham has worked on fee-basis basically all his life, I have only worked for a boss, receiving an paycheck at the end of each month. Even if I would have to drive around the Netherlands to check up on our stores and stay out for a couple of days, my base was always the home office. that is where I worked. This is a new mindset. And I like it!
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